Author takes a page out of women’s look on life

Ever since he was three years old, women have been teaching Dartmouth author John Spooner life lessons, sharing advice, providing counsel, inspiring and educating him.

Now, he’s sharing all that he has learned in his new book titled “Wake Up: A Lifetime of Lessons from Smart Women,” which was published this past May.

The idea for the book first came to him in the 1980s when he published “Smart People: A User’s Guide to Experts,” which focused on how people can brand themselves in an “increasingly anonymous world” and “stick out from a crowd.” The book also included a chapter titled “Smart Women.”

“I’ve had the idea for years and kind of assembling notes over the years about women who have inspired me,” Spooner said, adding that many of the lessons included in the book are ones he “could never have gotten from a guy.”

He also said that he felt this was an appropriate time to publish “Smart Women,” because, in his opinion, “men are increasingly … staring out the window these days wondering who am I and what’s it all about.”

“Smart Women” features 42 women in 42 different occupations, including law, medicine, cyber security and money management.

Four women in the book are from Dartmouth, including Pam McNamara, who Spooner considers a pioneer in healthcare, Tabby Bergman, a businesswoman, Dorothy Forbes, a golf player, and Helenka Pantaleoni, who helped found UNICEF after World War II.

McNamara told Spooner that many children don’t know what their parents do for a living and advised that parents should bring their children to work to show them where they work and what they do.

“It would help us a lot as children to really understand what the world of work means,” Spooner said.

Bergman, who Spooner said travels around the world and the United States and lives alone, told him that if people want to survive in the world, they can’t be sloppy about their personal lives.

Her rule, Spooner said, involves discipline and the idea that even if someone lives alone, they should live as though they’re living with someone else.

“If you live with somebody else, they wouldn’t accept the fact that everything was lying all over the floor,” Spooner explained. “In other words, clean up your act.”

Forbes, a golf player who has been in charge of fundraising for foundations such as the Boys and Girls Clubs of Boston, advised Spooner to “play by the rules in life” and not try to “fudge the rules.”

“If you’re going to play something and be excellent at it, really learn it to the max and play by the rules,” Spooner said.

The fourth Dartmouth woman in the book, Helenka Pantaleoni, acted on Broadway and in silent films, helped to found UNICEF and was an all around philanthropist.

Spooner met Pantaleoni as a college student when he “didn’t know what end was up,” he said.

Pantaleoni fooled him into realizing what his attitude was like and how “sloppy young men or entitled young men” can grow up and realize they aren’t “the only people on the planet,” he said.

He added that Pantaleoni also taught him the benefit of using empathy and kindness in problem solving.

“These are my Dartmouth women, and I’m very grateful that they were and are in my life,” Spooner said.