'Trying to make hope' through coping class
This semester, Dr. Bill Comeau returned to Bristol Community College for his sixth year to teach a humanities class called Coping with Life and Death. At the same time, the class is being offered in a new locale: Smith Neck Friends Meeting.
Comeau’s college course has arrived at the Quaker church with some modifications. Coping with Life and Death has been condensed to a six-week seminar and, for the first time, the class will blend teachings from the Bible.
“I wrote the book for myself because I wasn’t coping well,” said Comeau. “When I started teaching, they showed me all the books they had available and I hated them all because most of them are about dying. I think coping is about life first.”
Generally, Comeau describes coping as “telling yourself the truth about yourself.”
He said that, when he first drafted his book, “The Art of Creative Coping,” he had the teachings of the Bible in mind, but opted to take a more general approach as the work took shape. The class at Smith Neck is more in-line with his original vision.
Comeau said he’s been a pastor throughout his adult life. He’s served as an interim pastor at Smith Neck for the past three years.
While attendees of the six-week course are given copies of Comeau’s book for free, he said the Bible provides supplemental reading. Comeau pointed to three chapters in the Bible that he intends to address in his class, chapters 5, 6 and 7 in Matthew. He said those particular passages are “the teachings of Jesus about anxiety.”
“The Art of Coping” draws from his life experiences and from his mentors. He said it’s essential for people to feel secure with their own disposition before they can prepare to handle death.
“Some of the people who teach this take [students] to morgues and have them see a dead body or pick out caskets,” he said. “That’s not where I’m coming from at all. And I don’t think that’s where the class should be.”
The modified version of the class at Smith Neck is part lecture, part roundtable discussion. Many who attended the first session discussed coping with changes in their lives and how they dealt with those changes.
For Comeau, some of the groundwork for dealing with stress and coping with life came from one of his mentors, Corita Kent, an artist and teacher from California. His book opens with some of her rules to live by. She taught others to strive to “be happy whenever you can manage it.”
“The opposite end of coping is vengeance,” said Comeau. “Wanting to have revenge is like drinking poison hoping your enemy will die. You just keep drinking the bad stuff.”
He said that, even at age 77, he’s always challenging the way he deals with life. But, as an early quote from Kent points out, part of coping is continuing to press forward.
“It’s a huge danger to pretend awful things do not happen,” Kent’s words read. “But you need to keep going. I am trying to make hope. And you have to grab it where you can.”
Comeau’s free course on coping is held on Wednesday nights at Smith Neck Friends meeting on 594 Smith Neck Road. The one-hour class begins at 6:30 p.m. The class will be held until Oct. 28.